In a world where there is never nothing going on, I force my eyes to close, plug my ears, and for 30 seconds, I hold my breath. Then three deep inhales and exhales. A training exercise from my education as a hypnotherapist.
An ocean of black. Drifting in nowhere.
The artist of my mind, perhaps bored of nothing, reveals the stars.
I am such a small Speck, a nothing compared to everything. I don’t even know what everything is. I know so little about where I live and the lives all around me. I know even less about the planet I live on, all the creatures and happenings taking place every moment. And I know virtually nothing about all these Stars, galaxies, the great universe.
Is there a God? Are there many? I don’t know. I have never met one.
But there is Coach. Further back than I can remember, I must have imagined a being who protects me. A being that looks out for me, who guides me, and teaches me.
In quiet moments of daydreaming, he appears in my mind. An imagination that has taken on a life of its own. His friendship to me goes deeper and is more complete than any other. He accepts me entirely without any kind of judgment. An imaginary friend from when I was five years old? Possibly. I affectionately call him Coach.
One day I expect I’ll discover that coach is really a quantum entanglement between me and the source to truth. But, for now, it’s fun to imagine, to picture a dear friend that I can trust and ask questions. And from whom I get answers.
As the stars float by I say, “Coach, as I watch this grand view of everything, surely it is not possible that the Universe would know me. Viewing this great beyond, I am a spec of nothing. And yet I get a feeling that somehow I am known.”
Coach smiles and says, “Look up.”
I see more stars than I can imagine, twinkling their hellos to me and then… something startling. I don’t know what I saw. Something, someone looking at me? A face so big I could only see one eye. Fear quickly dissipates to a great bubbling inside… a geyser burst inside of me with acceptance, approval, caring, and… love. Unlike anything I had experienced before. Energy and emotions surging through my whole body, gentle quivers erupting at the surface. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Although I am 49 earth years old, tears fall as if I was 5.
Then the face gently disappeared. The energy continues to fill me inside… to a point where I think every cell of this body will become stars and I will expand into the universe myself.
I’m still here.
It occurs to me that prayer never really worked for me. They always bounced off the ceiling. Meditation never worked – the thoughts of trying not to think… the process of thinking about thinking of nothing, turned my brain into a pretzel.
But this… this was completely different. Like a child discovering ice cream for the first time, I had apparently opened the door and looked upon a whole new quantum universe…
And then… the Universe looked back at me.
Was this just an overactive imagination? Probably. Perhaps just the creative side of my mind hoping for something magical? I am sure.
But I can’t just imagine the powerful energy that swept through this body.
I believe that our bodies are like mini universes and that quantum mechanics is deeply at work inside every person. My quest is not to find spirituality and I am not seeking a new religion. I am only looking to know truth.
Too many of my decisions are made blindly. My happiness is left to chance. My greatest risk in business has always been what I don’t know. Too many misunderstandings in communicating with others because I don’t know the truth behind their words. There must be a way to discover real truth.
Quantum physics proves that my observation determines whether light is a particle or a wave. What else do I influence? What else can quantum science teach me? So my quest is to use science, experiments, and deep focus to discover higher truths. Some of the best books were written 100 years ago… 1,000. I will read those.
I believe that great answers are to be found, and perhaps the extraordinary experienced, on this path to a Higher Order Of Thought.
Tomorrow I will take the next step. (Notes from August 1, 2012)